Just Like the Movies

Today one of my friends said something to me, and it really struck me. I always say "My life is like a romantic comedy, but without the happy ending, so at least it's funny."

Well, he said: "No, you're life is like a romantic comedy, but you're not the leading lady."

I laughed, but couldn't help thinking it was true.

The Faux B came and went. It was wonderful....and horrible.....and confusing....

I guess I thought that if we actually met everything would become clear, but it's not, or maybe I just can't see it.

I had all these preconceived notions.

I thought I'd finally see all the crappy things about him in person, but I couldn't.

I thought it'd be easy to be his "bro," but it wasn't.

I thought he'd realize how great I am, but he didn't.

I thought I'd be relieved for it all to be over with, but I'm not.

He's seeing someone else, because I'm not the leading lady.

I'm the funny sidekick, and that's okay. We had a good time. I laughed more than I thought I would. I feel so comfortable and uncomfortable with him at the same time. It's odd. Everything about this situation is unusual for me.

What do you do with a guy you don't want to date but you don't want to get rid of?

Ma had another surgery. They found the source of her cancer. They removed it, and we think they got it all, but we're not done yet. I called her in the hospital and she wanted me to tell her all about FB's visit. She couldn't really respond because of the tubes in her throat, but I think she was glad to be talking about something non-medical, and my dating life is always good for a laugh, no matter how feeble.

I keep telling myself that it will be fine. Because it has to be. It has to be.

I went to a Pure Romance party tonight at a girlfriend's house. Great. Just what I needed. An entire party centered around sex to remind me that I'm not having any. And then I walked home in the rain. It might have been the most pathetic thing ever.

Doesn't every romantic comedy have a sad montage before the happy ending?

Maybe this is just my sad montage.