No change of heart, a change in me

I went over to Tour Guide's house to pick him up for what was sure to be another awkward night out. I showed up early in the hopes of talking to his roommate, Perfect Boy. TG opened the door, and he actually looked really nice, not as homeless as usual, things were looking up.

Jengo, the great big dog, greated me enthusiastically. I seriously love that dog. Then emerged Perfect Boy with a load of laundry looking positively dapper.

We got to talking.

"Do you want to go out with us tonight?" Me
"No, I'm going to Fries tonight" Perfect Boy
"Why are you going there?" TG
"I'm meeting that girl." PB

OUCH.

"Oh, the one you went out with earlier?" TG


Double OUCH.


"Yeah, we went to a matinee of the latest show at the Playhouse, and she asked what I was doing tonight, so I guess the date went well." PB

Man, that STINGS.

I smile, "Oh yeah, that's definitely a good sign."

There I am, falling so easily into my normal role as bro. I guess that's where I belong.

But something strange happened that night. Good strange. Tour Guide and I actually had a good time. I mean, we usually have a good time, otherwise I wouldn't keep hanging out with him, but he seemed to be having a good time with me specifically, not just in general.

Last week we went and had "coffee" which were actually "beers," (but we had them at a coffee shop) and we ended up at his friend's house eating cheese, drinking wine, and watching Animaniacs and Laurel and Hardy. It was awesome.

It's safe to say I'm beginning to enjoy our faux dates. It's really easy because there's no stress of trying to impress him, because we don't like each other, and I don't have to play those stupid games that you have to play when in the throes of courtship. (Which is good because I've always been bad and sports and those dating games are no exception.)

TG, for his part, is actually starting to seem interested in the things I say and do, which is nice. He was even showing his friends the sculptures I'd been working on when we were out. It was like he was bragging on me. And he let me borrow one of his favorite books to read. It was sweet.
As they say in Casablanca, "This could be the start of a beautiful friendship."

At first I thought the last thing I needed was another guy friend, but then I realized I don't have any here yet. So why not?

The only problem is that everywhere we go people think I'm his girlfriend. Which is a major double cock-block for both of us.

Last night when we were returning from the bar I went inside to use the bathroom when I dropped him off at his house.

To my surprise, there were quite a few people there.

Including PB's date.

SUCK.

His tall, cute, skinny date.

Double SUCK.

But also some cute guys.

Who asked if I was TG's girlfriend.

I laughed and said "No," but TG didn't say ANYTHING. He totally left me hanging, and then the guys were weired out, like they had hit a touchy subject or something. Ugh. Just when I had been so proud of him for being less awkward he has to go and do something like that.

TG had been kinda bummed out (his friend was leaving for several months, his bike broke, he's overloaded with homework, and his other friend's mom died. When it rains it pours.) so I offered to bring him some cupcakes that my roommates and I had made.

One of the cute guys overheard, "Cupcakes?! You bake?"

"Yeah, a little." I lied. (anyone who knows me knows I don't even know how to use an oven)

"Wow, you're the best...(awkward pause) friend ever!" He had overemphasized friend so it was more like: "friend" wink, wink; nudge, nudge.

I was mortified.

The only thing worse than a cute guy thinking you have a boyfriend you don't have is him thinking you are friends with benefits with someone you're not.

It seemed futile to argue the point, so I just said "Yep, I sure am."

Because I've never been good girlfriend, but I am a great friend.

I guess TG is lucky then.

And maybe, just maybe, if I'm haning out enough at their house Perfect Boy will realize his mistake and confess his undying like (love seems a bit overkill) for me.

A girl can dream, right?