"Faithful friends who are dear to us..."

"Will be near to us once more."
--Meet Me in St. Louis

Nothing is better than old friends.

I went back to the town where I attended undergrad this week to catch up with some pals.

Instantly it is like we were never apart. We are back to laughing and joking in no time.

Joel, my most wonderful guy friend, and I are sitting around his apartment making dinner and watching Seinfeld just like old times when I ask if I can invite some people to eat with us.

"Oh, then I'd have to clean!" he replies.
"No you wouldn't the place looks fine."
"I don't want them to see it like this."
"You let ME see it!"
"You're different, you're family."

I said nothing, because I thought I might cry then and there. That is one of the most beautiful things anyone has ever said to me.

My friends Em and Jen commented on how cute we are together.

"Why don't you two just get married?" Jen asked.
"They've never been like that. They are seriously just friends." Em informed her.
"Really?! Never?"
"Nope. Just best friends." I confirm.

I explain we have that whole "been together forever, super-adorable" thing down, but that whole "young love, sexual-attraction" thing just isn't there. If we were 85 it'd be perfect, but, luckily for me (no sarcasm), instead of a boyfriend I get family. The good ones are always my best buddies, but oh well, that means I get to keep them all forever.

As I hug my undergrad friends and professors good-bye I don't feel sad, because I don't have to worry about losing people who are always in my heart.

After that I attend a dinner with my Ma and her friends, aka my second family.

The air is so thick with love it is palpable. There are hugs, cocktails, and chocolate a-plenty with this group. We share our stories, we toast our achievements big and small, and the dining hall rings with our laughter.

Two of the younger girls are talking about being in love, and all of the Mom's are reminiscing about their first loves. One says, "You know, when you find the one, you just know."

I chime in with, "Yeah, that's how I felt when I found theater." Laughter ensues.

But on the way home my Ma and I discuss how true that statement is:

I always call theater my abusive boyfriend because he knocks me down and takes all my energy but I just keep going back, because I love him, and I can't leave him. When it comes down to it I've been with theater longer than anyone.

This holiday season is the time for old friends. And I am blessed with so many who care about me so much I don't know how I managed to deserve it.

Sometimes I wonder why I try so hard to find love when it's right here in front of me.

"Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow.
So have yourself, a merry littl Christmas now."
--Meet Me in St. Louis