Terms of Endearment

That boy.

That's how my Ma refers to any male prospect that seems semi-important to me if she hasn't met them. I think in her mind, if she hasn't met them, they don't really exsist, or matter. She doesn't attempt to learn their names. She knows me too well. Next week it could be an entirely different boy. "That boy" is a wonderful catch-all for her.

Here's an example:
"Oh, I see what you're doing, you're going back on birth control because That Boy is coming to see you."
"No, I just need to, and I have insurance now, so why not?"
"Mmmmmhmmmmm."
"What does that mean?"
"It's about That Boy."
"We're not even really dating, Ma. It's not a big deal. I can still see other people."
"Mmmmhmmmm."
"Stop doing that! Don't think I don't know what that means!"
"Have you been going on anymore Match dates lately?"
"No, I've been busy..."
"It's because you really like That Boy."
"MA!"
"I'm just sayin'..."

I've been using an entirely more dangerous term for That Boy, my Fake Boyfriend: Babe.

Ugh, I know. There is nary a more-sure sign that I have gone off the deep end than using this stupid pet name. It's fairly inocuous at this point. Just here and there, when I'm drunk or tired, but I can feel it creeping up on me. I can feel myself getting used to it, LIKING the sound of it, in fact.

I dated a guy for FIVE MONTHS once and the closest I ever got was calling him "Bud" or "Buddy."

Cue the doom-filled music.

I think I might need to take a step back.