Uh Oh

I like my Fake Boyfriend. Too much. Somehow it just happened before I could stop it.

I talk about him. Like one of the girls that annoys the crap outta me.

I talk to him on the phone all the time. ON. THE. PHONE. I HATE the phone. But we don't have anything else, and I like just talking to him...

In what world does this work out? He lives eleventy billion miles away.

(My Match.com date was good....fine. It's hard to really notice someone else. )

But he's coming to see me. For sure. In a month. The wait is excruciating.

I just thought it would be fun, frivilous, impractically delightful....Yeah, it's all those things, but...

For the first time in a long time my feelings could get hurt.

Haven't I learned yet that you can't make your Fake Boyfriend or your Pseudo Phone Boyfriend into your Real Boyfriend? It just doesn't work that way. It's just science.

I was discussing all these fears, and my dear friend Mandalynne said it best:
"Stop it Trish, just stop what you're doing. You deserve this. You deserve to have a guy who likes you for you and has the same interests as you....because you are kind, and generous, and you have pretty eyeballs, and facial features.....and you've been through so much and it's time for things to start going your way because you work so hard. So stop doing what you always do and running away. You're ruining it! Cut it out!"

Okay, I'll try.