The Master Becomes the Student

I got a text from Katie as I got off work last night:
"Tattoo Guy in Walgreens with a girl, they're going to a movie."

Me: "Is she cute?"

Katie: "Kinda"

I burst into tears.

I should've known that you never get what you want by lowering your standards.

And, for the first time in my life, I knew what it felt like to be one of those guys I'd blown off, and it sucked. It sucked so hard.

I was sitting on the couch in my bathrobe when my Roomie came home. I just sat there like a lump and explained the situation.

"This feels awful. I'm a terrible person." I cried.

"You're not a terrible person...."

"I never thought that any of those guys really cared that much, but if I make people feel this way.....I didn't know.....Do you think all those guys felt this way?"

"Not ALL of them....probably Kenny did."

I laughed through my tears "Poor, Kenny. Poor, sweet Kenny."

So I made a vow. The Master of blowing people off is retiring. Hanging up her hat. I will never again break up with someone "by abadonment."

DEFINITION: Break-up by Abandonment - (verb) Coined by my best friend from high school Destinee, probably one of the sweetest, politest girls I've ever met, it's worth noting. It's when you cut off all contact with a guy you're kinda seeing (emphasis on kinda, this is not a method that works with an all-out boyfriend) for a week. No texts, no facebook messages, no calls, no NOTHING. After said week you are officially "broken up by abandonment." It's the equivalent of leaving a baby in a dumpster, emotionally. It's extremely effective, and as I discovered, really cowardly and cruel. In fact, on Yahoo it was rated #2, second only to cheating, on The Top Ten Worst Ways to Break Up With Someone. It was also my absolute favorite method of ditching guys I was only casually seeing for the last 5 years.

No more. I'm too old for that stuff.

Back to my living room, me wallowing in my own self-pity: "This is karma. This is my punishment for all those guys I blew off."

Roomie, "Well, I do believe in karma...."

"I always thought Actor Ex was my punishment for blowing guys off."

"Yeah, except you KEPT doing it even after you dated him."

"No I.....I did, didn't I?"

Roomie nods. "Poor Kenny..."

We both laugh, not so much at him but at how the tables have turned.

So now I know. Lesson learned.

I realize I have so much left to learn, if only I open myself up to it.

Being the Master of blowing people off doesn't really lend itself to finding a lasting, meaningful relationship, which I now can admit, is something I'm looking for.

So now that I'm done being the Master, I can be the student.

Don't worry, it's not a downgrade, because I'll be the most kickass student ever. After all, I was Valedictorian of my high school class.