Funny is a Four Letter Word

I am the Funny Girl.

This means I am not the Pretty Girl, or the Stupid Girl, or the Nice Girl, etc. That's okay with me. To be honest, I've worked hard for the title. I've been doing improv for 5 years and to get noticed in a male-dominated field like that is not small feat. Plus, it's safe. It's much easier to make fun of the frat guy who quits talking to me at the bar after about 15 seconds when he spots a cute Asian chick in a sparkly top or an orange-hued blonde with too much make-up on (and I'm a make-up artist, so I like make-up). It's also really fun to make fun of said frat guy to his face while he stares vacantly and nods occassionally. The only thing is that nobody wants to date the funny girl. Oh, I've had guys say that they want a girl that's funny, I've even had guys say that a sense of humor is what they look for most. This is a lie. Because I have seen those same guys laughing incessentantly at the "jokes" of a girl with a really good push-up bra. Yep, those boobs are HA-larious. So, I have compiled a short list of reasons why no one wants to date the "funny girl."

1. If she's truly funny, she's probably smart too, which is another thing guys love to say they want but most of them really don't. I seriously had a guy practically break up with me then and there when he came across my transcript. He said "I didn't know you were so....smart" like being smart was the equivalent to being a dirty dishrag. I replied "Yeah well, I know a lot of smart kids that are all about being smart and they suck so I try not to make a big thing of it." Still dumstruck (ha) he continued "Yeah but you're really--" "Smart, I know" I interrupted as I rolled my eyes, fully aware that the relationship was over.

2. Funny girls are always surrounded by guys. It's a simple equation, funny people flock to other funny people. Most girls aren't funny so: funny girl = lots of guy friends. Lots of guy friends means no guy will approach you. Especially if when they do they are bombarded with jokes and jabs.

3. Guys don't like it when their girlfriend is funnier than them. Enough said.

4. Guys are babies, and often times don't find being made fun of an aphrodisiac. It apparently "emasculates" them.

5. Funny girls are a bit intimidating according to my guy friends. Maybe it's because we're loud. Maybe it's because we won't take your shit. Maybe it's just me.

Anyway, so there's my first attempt at a blog. I'd give it C+ at best. I guess I've established that I'm funny but I'm not willing to promise laugh-out-loud hilarious posts every time, so don't be disappointed. I'll try to do better next time.